Miracles

I am thinking about this child inside me tonight, my third son. He is to be induced into this world on Friday, July 1st, 2005. I'm wondering how this third child's birth will distinguish itself from the first two. With Gregory, I was pretty anxious and unsure of what labor pains would really be like. I was even sent home the first time I went in. Once I was at the hospital to stay, I suddenly developed a bad case of chattering teeth. My nerves took over and I just couldn't relax. Aaron and I laugh about this now, but it was really aggravating at the time. When Gregory was born, it was a very surreal moment. The sun was streaking through the windows like some kind of terrific movie moment and when I laid eyes on him, I began sobbing-- sounding much like this new little person they were laying in my arms. With Daniel, I was induced because of the distance to the hospital, and the fact that I was dilated 4cm by the 37th week. His birth was quiet, still, and strangely peaceful. It was 9:30 at night, and it seemed the moon was shining just for him. When all the hospital staff left the room, he began to quietly nurse and seemed so content.

I look forward to the birth of this little one, the painting in my mind that I will hold onto forever.

Friendship is Hard

At least, I have found friendship to be hard - especially in the years after college. The college setting is ideal for friendship: constant proximity to people of your own age, with a lot of the same interests, hobbies, even dilemmas.

And then you graduate. In the case of Aaron and I, we moved to South Haven, Michigan after graduation and became each other's best friend. We have great memories of that time, but we were also a little lonely for other friendships. Suddenly, we were in a town where maybe 10% of the population was our age. It wasn't until we moved to Kalamazoo that we really found quality friendships, especially through our church there, Kalamazoo Wesleyan.

As a woman, I have come to realize that female friends are a must-have. When we moved to Houston last year, I knew that making new friends would be hard and that it would take time, but I never understood how lonely and isolated I would feel in the waiting.

Many friendships are seasonal, as well. God seems to provide some relationships just for a particular time, and when it's over, that friendship fades due to distance, time, or because a new season takes over. I can see this in my life through high school, college, working, and then becoming a stay-at-home Mom. In each of these stages, God placed certain people there for that moment and I will always treasure them, even if we are not in contact on a continual basis.

The other side of this is the fact that I need -- women need -- to fight for their friendships. I am so guilty of thinking things like, "Oh, she has plenty of friends; she doesn't need me bugging her," or "I'm sure she's too busy." There are moments when I just need to make that phone call, write that email, and BE THERE. That's really all friendship is: availability. No matter how busy we are, no matter how many friends we have, we need each other. We need other women to say, "I care about you. You are one cool chick. I am here to listen."

Anyway, this is all a result of the book club I've been a part of the past three weeks through my church. The women have been reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. We discussed friendships today and it was amazing to hear how many of us are afraid to be vulnerable - to risk being rejected or deceived by another woman. It's something I think we never stop learning - this friendship thing. I'll be 70 years old, thinking, "I wonder why Myrtle hasn't called...." Ridiculous.

My friends, I hope you know I love you and care about you. Let's fight for each other!

I am a Blogger

And so it begins...

As if I don't already communicate by email enough, I have now joined the blogging community. This is my little spot to just tell it like it is...

"To really tell a story, I need to write it. It's then that I understand what it is that I'm really trying to say. I find the deeper meaning - and the deeper satisfaction."
- Elizabeth Berg

"If thou art a writer, write as if thy time were short, for it is indeed short at the longest."
- Thoreau

I still have these notebooks on my shelves that I've kept since early adolescence where I would copy down poems I found, quotes, things that seemed to communicate what I was feeling or going through during that time. It's a little embarrassing to read some of those emotional twists I was putting myself through. My first attempts at poetry - ugh. But it's true. It's real. It's who I was, who I was growing to be.

I have always felt compelled to write it down. Writing validates the intangible. So, here we go. Thanks for coming over.